I am bursting at the seams to tell you about a new adventure I am embarking on with my friend, Rob Lane, who happens to be the pastor who married my husband and I (four years ago this autumn!). He is passionate about marriages and making them better, breaking down barriers, helping couples communicate better, and understand each other. Sooo... my little, humble blog is going to be a platform for him to reach out to women, share some tips, and also help us understand men a little better in what we're calling Marriage Mechanics Mondays (MMM). I'm honored that his passion and voice will be heard here! And I'm hoping he can help yours, mine and all your girl friends' marriages.
So... let me introduce you to your marriage mechanic, your relationship coach, the wonderful Rob Lane:
Rob, who are you?
Hi everyone! If you were to ask my wife who I am, she would say, “Simply bald and beautiful!” And my boys would say, “Homerun King… in waffle ball!” I am the husband of my beautiful wife of 18 years, Cara, and the father of 2 very cool boys: Connor, who is 14, and Ryland, who is 10. I am so excited about this opportunity to connect with women about strengthening their relationship/marriage because it's my passion! One of my favorite quotes is, “When relationships are working, everything else in life works.” This is the theme by which I live my life and something I hope to illuminate for every person or couple I work with!
How did your passion become helping marriages?
The start of my passion for helping marriages first came from a deep ‘spiritual wound’ in my own life experiences. At the impressionable age of 12, my parents were headed for a divorce and I took a strong stand against it, passionately protested the decision! My Dad remembers asking me as a child whom I wanted to live with post-divorce. My answer was, with deep pain in my eyes and vigor in my voice, “I will not choose between you or mom because I want to live with you both!" My dad credits his decision to stay, and recommit to his marriage to my tenacity and insistence. As a result, my parents decided against divorce and the years that followed I saw a new family structure take shape and a new marriage emerge as my parents decided to make a better life for themselves and their family. I have carried this experience with me my whole life and it is the motivation and passion behind why I do what I do.
My business, called the Marriage Lane, started as a result of walking through some of the most difficult times I have ever seen with some of our closest friends who were experiencing great relational pain and marriage struggles. The conversations and counseling sessions that took place during those times caused us to look deeper into the dilemma of marriage issues and distress. It is no secret that many people today are going through relational turmoil and find themselves alone with no idea how to navigate through it. Many people live out their philosophy of relationships with the cliche "love is a gamble.” With the understanding that many people are skeptics when it comes to successful, lasting marriage relationships, I strategically help people traverse through those rough areas in their marriage journey and creatively help them discover new norms thus experiencing hope for a successful relationship.
Why the name Marriage Mechanic Mondays (MMM)?
I call myself a "Marriage Mechanic" because every marriage relationship could use a "tune up" from time to time. I believe that regular tune-ups in your marriage, similar to regular oil changes for your car, are necessary to keep your marriage functioning at a healthy and effective level. The marriage journey consists of many ups and downs. What I have found is that often times a marriage needs a jolt, an oil change, some air in the tires, and a burst of support and coaching during those tough spells... and those are all things I can help marriages tap!
What's your hope for Marriage Mechanic Mondays (MMM)?
My hope for Marriage Mechanic Mondays is that each person who reads my posts understands that I am right there walking with them in trenches of daily relationship/marriage struggles and joys, and that I'm in my own marriage journey with Cara. I am not perfect in my marriage (just ask my wife!). But, I certainly strive to be better today in my marriage than I was yesterday, and better tomorrow than I was today. With God’s help, I can provide the necessary tools for your marriage relationship. The reality is that every couple wants to experience a thriving marriage but the real challenge is how to do it. My hope for MMM is that each person knows that they can steer the course of their own marriage's road. The Marriage Lane, provides the map and some simple pit stops, and you navigate the course!
Talk to us about your street cred! What's your bio, in a nutshell?
|Rob Lane of The Marriage Lane|
Rob and Cara both have a BA in Christian Education from Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. Rob holds a Master’s Degree in Psychology and is an Online Psychology Professor for Grand Canyon University. Cara is an International motivational speaker and speaks to over 5,000 women per year empowering them to live fulfilling and purposeful lives. Cara has been featured on Good Day Sacramento and has shared the stage with several nationally recognized authors and speakers. Rob and Cara are also certified marriage counselors in the PREPARE/ENRICH program. Rob is a non-denominational ordained minister and officiates wedding ceremonies. Rob combines his experience and education along with his unique approach that is sincerely relational, empowering, hopeful, honest and compassionate.
Where can we learn more about you and your work?
The first place you can learn more about me and my work is though my website: The Marriage Lane. Also, please follow The Marriage Lane on Facebook where you will find helpful, quick marriage tips that provoke thought and action! Also on our Facebook page you will find announcements related to what we are doing and what we hope to accomplish in the future. Currently, we (Cara & I) are working on some products that will be helpful, creative and fun! Look for those products through our links. Please give us a shout out, ask questions or share ideas for future posts in the comments here on the blog and on our Facebook page because product research comes directly from each of you! Should you want more support in your marriage, and I hope you do, I offer marriage coaching sessions via Skype where I can coach your marriage and provide practical advice that you can confidently use in your marriage today!
Anything else you want to tell our followers?
I love this question, Lindsay because it gives me the opportunity to share with everyone some things not many people know about me (until now). My favorite season is Christmastime. I love listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas movies all year long! Elf is my favorite! To concentrate, I listen to Jazz music. I love jogging on the treadmill and I am an avid sports fan! Gooooo San Fransisco Giants and 49ers!! I have a sweet tooth weakness for Reeses Peanut Butter Cups!
Most importantly, I want everyone to know that I am a marriage coach, rather than a marriage counselor. The fundamental difference between the two is counseling tends to focus on the past and coaching focuses on the future. The analogy I like to show couples is when driving a car you have two options for your vision: one that looks ahead and one that looks behind. Thankfully, the larger view from the driver’s seat is the wind shield; the smaller view is the rear view mirror. If your marriage focuses only on that rear view mirror, the past, you're putting your marriage in danger. This is not to say you should never look through the rear view mirror. It just means that you should look forward more often, and use that rear view mirror for a point of reference only occasionally. Additionally, your focus as a driver is looking ahead through that windshield. Marriage coaching focuses on the windshield, the dream, your future in a marriage you both want! You will get where you want to go when your eyes focus on forward motion!
Thank you, Rob, for letting us get to know you! Looking forward to Marriage Mechanic Mondays!