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Monday, September 16, 2013

five things to "high five" your spouse for today...

As a follow up to my Marriage Mechanic Monday post last week, I thought it would be helpful to provide five practical things to high five your spouse today. A high-five marriage is a relationship that strives to put in the necessary work to make their marriage fun, purposeful and healthy. With this said, here are five things to high five your spouse today. 

  1. Do the dishes. Without making an assumption that a particular spouse “should” do the dishes, try something different this week. Nothing beats surprise random acts of kindness in the context of a marriage relationship. Guys, if you surprise your wife by doing the dishes this week be prepared to receive the ‘best husband award’!
  2. Watch a football game together. It is rare to find both spouses on the same page when it comes to the football season. I know many wives who end up widowed during the football season. Try something different this week. Watch a game together. Wives, it would mean a lot to them if you just sat watched the game with them. Hint: don’t ask them to take the trash out during the game! 
  3. Put the seat down! Husbands, if you make it a point to put the seat down this week, believe me your wife will love you more than you realize! Am I right, wives? Here’s the real secret behind putting the seat down. Whenever you take advantage of the opportunity to show your spouse that their needs are more important than yours, the results will always help improve the strength of your marriage. 
  4. Gas up the car. Similar to putting the seat down, surprising your spouse by secretly taking the car to fill it up will bring positive relationship results. This may seem like a small thing but actually doing small things in the marriage always make for very big things. When you gas up the car this week, leave a note right next to the gas tank gauge. All it needs to say is I LOVE YOU. 
  5.  Pay the bills together. Money within the context of marriage is a constant stressor. The reason money is such a contentious issue is because it seems to foster blame. Instead of blaming each other this week when it comes to financial challenges, try something different. This week, pay the bills together. Money issues don’t have to be a communication barrier. Actually, sitting down together this week discussing the bills can be the start of building a team mentality in your marriage.

High-fiving your spouse for making great marriage choices will increase the positive levels in your marriage. It has been said that negativity breeds negativity and positivity breeds positivity. Making the choices this week by implementing these five things will bring your marriage relationship to the kind of marriage you have always wanted. I would love to hear how it went after doing these five things this week!

Rob Lane
Marriage Mechanic

Rob is proud that his wife Cara plays an instrumental part of what he does. They have a combined 20+ years helping individuals and couples with their relationships and marriages. Rob has a BA in Christian Education from Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and holds a Master’s Degree in Psychology and is an Online Psychology Professor for Grand Canyon University. Rob is also certified marriage counselors in the PREPARE/ENRICH program. He is a non-denominational ordained minister and officiates wedding ceremonies. Rob combines his experience and education along with his unique approach that is sincerely relational, empowering, hopeful, honest and compassionate. To learn more about Rob, The Marriage Lane and his approach read here.

*Lead photo created using the app A Beautiful Mess, available for sale here in the iTunes app store! Thanks ABM app for the creative tool!


  1. Simple, practical and with a sense of humor! I look forward to MMM, it gives me a fresh pair of eyes in looking at my marriage. Thanks!

    By the way, not sure where MMM is from, but he should really write for his local newspapers! He's good!


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