We took a break and grabbed some lunch. While we were eating
and drying off, I asked my birthday boy if he wanted to hit the roller coaster.
He said emphatically, “Oh yeah! Let’s do it!” I questioned, “Are you sure? It
goes really fast, it has a few big drop offs and it has a big loop.”
All of a sudden, my little ambitious one put the
brakes on as you could see the doubt start to sink in his mind. I asked, “What do you think, still want
to go?” He answered, with a questionable, “Maybe...”
After we were done eating, we decided to let lunch settle while
we hit a few shows. Then we rode a couple more rides. As we were waiting in
line, I asked my son, “Let’s go watch a few runs on that roller coaster to see
if you want to go on it. What do you think?” He said, “Okay.”
As we walked towards the roller coaster, I suddenly saw some
confidence build up in my daring son’s demeanor. In fact, I began to see a
little more pep in his step. We turned the corner, and we all paused. We looked
up and I said, “There it is! What do you think? Let’s do this!” Right after I
made this proclamation, the coaster came swooping down along with hearing the wild
screams. I looked back at my son and he had a huge smile on his face. He looked
at me and said, “Dad, let’s go!” I said, “Right on!”
We ran into the line. We all psyched ourselves up and we
suddenly found ourselves only a few minutes away. It was now our turn. We
jumped into the seat, strapped ourselves in, and waited for takeoff. I looked
over at my son, “How are you doing son?” He responded, “Great! I can’t wait for
this to take off.” Right when he said this, the coaster took off with amazing
speed! We all screamed!
I looked over a few times at my son, and all I saw was huge
smiles and loud screams. He was having a blast and so was I. The ride ended and
all I heard was, “That was awesome Dad!” I gave him a high five, hugged him and
said, “You did it! You went on that scary ride. I’m proud of you!” My son
quickly replied, “Dad, I’m 7 years old now. That was not scary! That was fun!”
As I think about this experience I can’t help but think how
similar overcoming our uncertainties and doubts is part of moving into a more
fulfilled and abundant marriage relationship. Often times, the challenges of
marriage and struggle to find peace in and through this sacred relationship is
simply too difficult to bear. Life often gets in the way of our marriage which
is when thoughts of fear and panic slowly settle in and if not aware can
eventually dry up your marriage relationship.
There is a better way to combat those frightening moments as
we journey through the adventure of marriage life. With all of its ups and
downs, spins and loops, drops and climbs, the truth is your marriage
relationship can actually grow and strengthen through every aspect of life.
Today, it seems easier to throw a marriage away whenever things get tough or
difficult. But with the right advice, tools and guidance your marriage has the
potential of building a stronger foundation which faces its fears, struggles
and challenges together, not separate.
When we seek positive change in our marriage relationships,
we must recognize that the hurdles and the risks are part of the journey. These
barriers don’t stand in our way because we realize that it is all a part of the
ride. When you pursue the marriage you have always wanted, the risks are not
seen as dangerous. Rather they are seen as opportunity.
The first part of facing our fear (in anything) is to simply
muster up the courage and strength, often times found outside of ourselves, a
lot like my son when he was 7 years old faced with the overwhelming sense of
living in a world of Can’t rather than Can. When you and your spouse live n a
world of Can, you will discover whether you are young, middle age or older, that
the brand new life of togetherness is a roller coaster that you can get on,
strap on, stay on and ride!
Unfortunately as we get a little older, we find more excuses
as to why we shouldn’t take risks or venture off into changing our limited
mindset. You don’t have to be fearful of living out the child within you. Successful
marriage is not meant to be scary; it is meant to be lived- to the full! A huge
part of understanding this reality is the fact that around the corner is the married
life you have always wanted. The truth is it is the life that is well within
your reach.
When it comes to changing the direction of your marriage for
the better, you have to take a risk! Here’s the promise though. When you take
the risk and jump on the ride of your life, it will be all worth it! I am
certain!
Rob Lane
Marriage Mechanic
Rob is proud that his wife Cara plays an instrumental part
of what he does. They have a combined 20+
years helping individuals and couples with their relationships and marriages. Rob has a BA in Christian Education from
Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and holds a Master’s Degree in Psychology and
is an Online Psychology Professor for Grand Canyon University. Rob is also certified marriage
counselors in the PREPARE/ENRICH program. He is a non-denominational ordained minister and officiates wedding ceremonies. Rob combines his experience and
education along with his unique approach that is sincerely relational,
empowering, hopeful, honest and compassionate. To learn more about Rob, The Marriage Lane and his approach read here.
Marriage Mechanic
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