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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

how to make your words mean something...

Several weeks ago, I wrote a post entitled, 5 Ground Rules For a Better Marriage. Those 5 marital ground rules that can reinforce your marriage today include:

1)   Never go to bed angry.

2)   Say “I’m sorry.” always!

3)   Go on a date at least twice a month. 

4)   Say “I love you” often!

5)   Hold hands in public.

Believe it or not, the words you say mean more than you may even realize. Unfortunately, in every marriage relationship and over time it’s easy to take each other for granted. To combat this subtle decline, telling each other important words such as “I love you” will always provide the strength your marriage needs.

Let’s face it, the words we hear around us are generally negative. Even the words we are guilty of saying often come out negative. The truth is it takes work and discipline to say nice, complementary words. The reality is our spouses are the ones who should be on the receiving end of good and uplifting words from us. So why should you say I love you to your spouse on a regular basis? Here are 3 tips why these words will help your marriage in the long run.

Saying I Love You creates a positive environment. We all know we don’t have to go very far and hear negative words. Sheesh, just turn on your local news! The sad reality is we don’t even have to turn on the 6:00 news to find negative words. Whether it’s at work, at school, driving down the freeway or in our neighborhood, negative words are not that hard to come by. This is why saying I Love You often is so important in your marriage. Words that matter like I Love You creates the positive environment your marriage always needs.   

Saying I Love You can provide the spark your marriage needs today. Is your marriage not exciting anymore? Do you feel the love has lost its luster? Does your relationship feel more like college roommates versus a strong married couple? Well, believe it or not, the reason is because your words for and towards each other are either completely neglected or simply lacking. You may have to begin doing something more fruitful today; that is, saying I Love You. Try telling your spouse you love her/him five times a day for one week and watch your feelings for your spouse change. Watch your relationship grow stronger, both for your spouse and you!   

Saying I Love You are words that matter. I believe what keeps us from saying I Love You is that little voice in our heads that says something like, “Does he really mean he loves me when he says I love you?” Or “Why does she always say I love you at the worst times like in the middle of a fight?” Our role in a marriage relationship is to always say I Love You, no matter what. When both spouses are saying this on a regular basis, you would be amazed the words that come out of your mouth and his or hers. Words matter and are so important to the strength of your marriage.      

Try out these 3 tips this week and see your marriage relationship grow stronger than ever before. It is true that actions speak louder than words but I believe you won’t even get to the showing if you never do the saying. Truly, you can never go wrong telling you love each other on a regular basis. Trust me, saying these words regularly is an important marital ground rule to stick by. You will not regret it! 


Rob Lane
Marriage Mechanic
Rob is proud that his wife Cara plays an instrumental part of what he does. They have a combined 20+ years helping individuals and couples with their relationships and marriages. Rob has a BA in Christian Education from Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and holds a Master’s Degree in Psychology and is an Online Psychology Professor for Grand Canyon University. Rob is also certified marriage counselors in the PREPARE/ENRICH program. He is a non-denominational ordained minister and officiates wedding ceremonies. Rob combines his experience and education along with his unique approach that is sincerely relational, empowering, hopeful, honest and compassionate. To learn more about Rob, The Marriage Lane and his approach read here.

*Lead photo created using the app A Beautiful Mess, available for sale here in the iTunes app store! Thanks ABM app for the creative tool!


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