I love to live life and I love to feel. I'm innately drawn to life affirming things. Feeling something, good or bad, help us feel alive.
It's been over a year since my Grandpa passed away. And it's nearly eight years since my childhood best friend died under odd and confusing circumstances. I think about them often, especially this week. I've been blessed with so many serendipitous moments. Lucidity, coincidence, miraculous--call it what you will. I dreamt of both my Grandpa and Jen for many, many months after then each passed. Sometimes they still stop in to say hello and let me know that are okay. Still, it hurts to love people who are no long living because you miss them in human form. Its one of those weird human experiences that we never fully get over.
What's been on my mind most recently? Matt, Liz and Madeline. A friend shared the blog with me. Its here that Matt writes of a phenomenon--people everywhere taking part in his grieving, checking his blog at their place of work... For two days, I have been the woman reading through entries, crying, grieving, holding my heart tightly, saying silent prayers, shedding tears, sniffling (and silently hoping no one will walk by my cube while I'm having a mini break down)
I can't begin to tell you their story. You'll have to start where I started, at the beginning and then learn about Liz. Keep reading. You'll learn about Matt and Madeline, the little girl who lost her momma. You'll fall in love, your heart will break and you will be called to do something, because you'd hope others would do the same for you if you were Matt and Madeline, even if its read all the back-blog entries, cry and pray that Matt can make it through another day...
I suppose the message of all of my ramblings is: life is so, so precious.
I've worked hard to tell those around me what I think and feel, for better or worse, but especially when its positive. I try to live honestly and do the right thing. I try to live. Lord knows I'm not even close to perfect... but I work hard at being my best. You don't know what life will throw at you or how the roads unexpectedly fork. Liz certainly hadn't planned to depart from her brand new baby and her happy marriage. It sounds like she really lived the life she had.